Royal Buscombe; 45 year member of PPSEAWA
Los Angeles Chapter Report
PDF Version of this Bulletin
A Fathers Support Group
by Phyllis Ellis, Chicago Chapter
As coordinator of the Office of Child and Family Resources at Northwestern University I am responsible for developing programs that address the perceived concerns of working parents among members of the faculty and staff.
In an effort to develop a dialogue among fathers at the University, in April, 1997, workshops were presented on the subject of "Fathers and Their Kids." The workshop presenters included fathers invited from the University faculty and administrative staff to provide answers to the following questions: "What did you learn from your father?" "How do you prepare for the responsibility of fatherhood?" Is there a difference between fathering and stepfathering" and "How do you make the right connections to your kids?"
The presenters made unusually forthright statements about their personal family relationships. As a result, the participants in the workshops began an intense dialogue with the presenters and with each other about the various questions that had been posed.
Since the strict time limitations were imposed at the workshops, it became apparent that follow-up sessions would be welcome. With a positive response from many fathers, arrangements were made to provide a follow-up meeting just for dads.
In May, 1997, the father's support group was created. The fathers have continued to meet each month since the group began. They bring brown bag lunches and determine their own agenda. They always accept additional participants. Some fathers come for one or two sessions. But most fathers indicate a real desire to continue to meet each month.
The support group is composed of biological fathers, stepfathers, married and single. But the issues are universal and wide-ranging. From time to time there are references to personal family relationships. Occasionally there are exchanges about family communications. But all of the fathers share common concerns of managing work and family. There are real expressions of understanding among the fathers, and no hesitation about the need to continue to have the opportunity for a frank exchange that the support group provides. Initially there were fathers who were reluctant to reveal their personal, sometimes emotional needs. But the spirit of the group makes it possible to break through those barriers. It would seem that men are less willing to talk about their family relationships in the workaday and social arenas.
The fathers' support group provides a relaxed and intimate environment where fathers are willing to share their personal experiences and offer suggestions that may be helpful one to another.
